Alligator Skin
This is for everyone who has poured their heart into their pitches to Bob and then heard the sound of...silence. It can be disheartening.
If Bob had unlimited time -- the extreme opposite is the case -- he'd give you feedback. But even a tossed off email would take five minutes. Multiply that times the number of ideas he passes on, and you understand why that isn't possible. It would take most of his day.
So, as Bob's partner in MoviePitch* and a one-time screenwriter, let me offer what I can. Here are some reasons why pitches get rejected.
Too Familiar
One common fallacy is to compare your ideas to what you see on at the multiplex. Just because the movies are weak doesn't mean the ideas in Hollywood are weak -- there are plenty of hot ideas circulating at any given time. I've read screenplays so good they made me jealous, but were never produced or optioned.
It's a rude awakening when you discover that an idea you considered unique has been kicked around town for years. Once a writer friend and I developed a story idea that began with a failed execution by lethal injection. I happened to be talking to Bob one day and started telling him the idea with great excitement (normally I submit ideas just like everyone else and get no feedback when he passes on them.)
I had hardly gotten two sentences out of my mouth before Bob explained that variations on this idea had been bouncing around Hollywood for at least two years. "But why haven't they made it!!??" is the natural question. "Why do they keep turning out the same stuff?" That is the age-old question.
There are lots of answers, some to do with stars and top directors and the films they want to do. And of course, which movies the studios think are least risky to make.
All that is out of your hands. Sometimes luck is what matters.
Too General
I would love to be able to use some of the actual ideas submitted to MoviePitch as examples. However, these ideas do not belong to us. But I will paraphrase one of them about a boss-from-hell to demonstrate how it could have been improved.
What made the boss such a terror I can't say without giving away his idea, but it was clever. Still, the pitch lacked something. Let's imagine two examples:
Man gets new job but it turns out his boss is a boss-from-hell.
— or —
Man needs job to prove to court that he is a responsible parent. After a long job search, he gets hired. The bad news is his boss is a boss-from-hell.
The second version helps define the conflict because it explains why the protagonist simply does not quit. Being forced to stay employed to impress the court forces him into a conflict that can yield drama or comedy.
Other submissions read ike this:
Two losers decide to get rich by launching a business.
An odd couple travels across country, bickering the whole way.
In both cases, you want to ask, "Yeah, and then what? What's the hook?" Consider these possible pitches for "Scrambled Eggs."
A comedy about the frustration of getting pregnant with today's medical technology.
— or —
A comedy about two women who get pregnant via in vitro fertilization, but with the wrong embryos.
— or —
Two women get pregnant via in vitro fertilization, but with each other's embryos. An odd couple -- one is a free spirit, the other a Type-A personality-- they move in together to make sure the other behaves properly during the pregnancy. Comic conflict ensues.
The last version makes it possible to imagine the whole movie. The outline is there -- in three sentences. Another thing about "Scrambled Eggs" is the simplicity and reality of the story. One very believable human error sets the plot in motion, no major "magic" or suspension of disbelief is required. The setting is familiar because we all know about fertility clinics, if only via the media. And the conflict between the two characters is believable because we have all experienced personality conflicts.
Good but Not Saleable
We have a chapter on the CD-ROM explaining why certain stories are pitchable and why some are not. I will not belabor that point here. Some stories submitted to MoviePitch have fallen on the borderline. That is, one can see how there is potential for a good story, but the execution of the idea -- bringing it to the screen -- is an gamble.
Now you could argue that all ideas depend on the execution. That is true to a degree, but some ideas are so good they succeed even when poorly executed. My personal opinion is that Mrs. Doubtfire was a great concept (father pretends to be housekeeper to be near his kids) weakly executed. But it was still a huge hit. Tootsie was a great concept brilliantly executed and was a huge hit.
The Hangover was also a huge hit. But the pitch would have sounded like dozens of other films.
Not saleable can also mean the concept is just fine, but the studios would be reluctant to make the film for one reason or another. Casting could be a major factor. That is, if the leading roles are for actors over 60 years old, the studios will not be eager to make the film.
When Bob looks at submissions, he is looking for ideas he thinks he can sell. He is being purely pragmatic. In short, not-saleable does not mean no good. Finally, remember that Bob Kosberg is just one person. When he says on the CD-ROM, "I am not the final arbiter of what is good," he means it. Like anyone, he has his own taste. Just because your idea did not interest him does not mean it is not a good idea. It just means he doesn't think he could effectively pitch it.
Why "Alligator Skin?"
Why did I name this page Alligator Skin? When I was actively sreenwriting a producer told that to be good at it, you need the heart of a poet and the skin of an alligator.
What should you do? Keep reading the newspapers, watching TV, reading books, etc. with an eye on movie stories. Keep your antennae up. Keep sending in ideas.
--Jim Bass
* Bob and I met when I pitched him an idea. He interrupted me to say it was one of the worst pitches he'd ever heard, and he was right. My concept was good, my pitch was wordy and full of tangets. Pitching well is not easy.
This clip satirizes a bad pitch.